Fresh off the Tarmac: My boss and His Camel

My boss had to go the USA for a medical conerference a little while ago and an American person came up to him, amazed that he knew how to use a computer, and that we had the latest in lap tops over here.

My boss, in the Omani humour I have found most typical to the Al Batinah region the covers Muscat, played it off, quite amused:

"Yes, we have all the latest kinds of laptops, and they are the most convenient. Before, it was very, very hard to carry a PC about on your camel, but with the laptop, it fit right into my camel's saddlebag, and she doesn't find it that heavy at all."

The American person, dazed, and amazed, blinked credulously at my boss.

He held the last sentiment expressed for a moment and then laughed. "But you didn't really believe that did you?"

All had a good laugh.

Don't believe everything you hear my dear expats, especially tales involving camels:

My boss has never ridden one. Most Omanis and GCC Arabs I know, neither have they. My boss drives a high-end luxury car. I have ridden a camel, but then, only expats tend to spend 150 rials to drive into the desert and ride a camel around a bit;)

Tales from the Tarmac: what tribe are you from?

When I was new in Oman I remember being told by other expat women that you can differentiate all Omani's regions and tribes by their dress. Which holds true for traditional regional costumes for women in most cases.

But in the case of men's dishdashas, what colour they are, like the mustard dishdasha men are from this ____ region because it is famous for saffrron dye is how ridiculous this statment is.

Also, the different ways of wrapping musayrs? While some ARE indeed traditional, an Orange musayr worn in Sharqiyah a certain way denoting a warrior tribal ancestry ect, tassels on the musayr cloth most common in Dhofar, and the beduoin disdain for the embroidered hats called kumas, most of the time, different embroideries and colours and ways or wrapping the men's dress, are just an expression of individuality.

Mustard dishdashes do not a tribe make. ;)

I have 1 to add: You know you've been in Oman too long when...

...You buy a heater in the middle of an Omani December {Yep, I actually did that} and you don't actually think it weird at all that they sell wool winter coats in the fashion avenues of this little desert country.

I bought a little 3.9 OMR heater from Lulu, the kind that blows hot air. Coming from a cold country, I know it to be a sucky little thing, but I don't exactly live at the top of Jebel Akhdar, so I don't really need one of those oil metal coil radiators, now do I, going at 14-20 rials? I figure I'll only be using it for 3 months max out of the year, and it heats up my little bedroom and kitchen just fine in the mornings, so, so far, it has turned out to be a great purchase, plus a nice felt blanket from Mars Hypermarket. Hehehe, my little sis would LOVE the faux Louis Vuitton Harajuko rainbow print ones (we know not real Louis) they've got there, in the Sohar Mars Hyper, Japanese culture addict that she is. I should get her one.

What Makes You an Expat?

Being married to an Omani man, surrounded almost entirely by Omanis, or at least, Muslim women who are experienced in dealing with Arabs and living their lives in the Gulf, my identity is hard to distinguish sometimes.

I was never terribly patriotic to the land of my passport. Even as a child I knew, I belonged somewhere else, and my life was always going to be somewhere far away and unexpected. People always say expats are either a worthless or a romantic type of breed. You JUST KNOW this. Some people just belong somewhere, and when they find that place, they just know.

Others are boundless, but these are the rarest form of man. I wouldn't ever say I am boundless.

My home is certainly Oman. And the majority of my culture is Islamic and even Omani, nigh 90%, while I know Omanis whose culture is only around 60%, but still, I am not Omani. I am not even 30% the country of my passport, but I am not 100% Omani either.

So I still consider myself kind of an expat. An Omani expat, for in my home country, to all apearences, I am certainly Omani, but I am still someone not 100% on the inside.

A close family friend said it is a gift, to be able to walk between worlds and relate to people of all walks of life, to the most fabulous, to the most humble, and find one's self most at home with the humble, but at ease with the great. I guess this is my gift. I find it easy to adapt and relate to almost anybody. But it doesn't make me anymore an Omani, or any less of an expat.

Does it?

MOP says just because I am married to an Omani, I am an Omani, and it is a simple as that. For my most of my Omani girlfriends, it IS as simple as that.

If the girl is from Dakliyah region but her husband is from al Batinah, she becomes an Al Batinah girl. The girls say, this is only rare for Dhofari girls, and they reason, maybe that is why they marry only Dhofaris.

I think it is more like my parental culture. I am not my husband and he is not me. Together we are something more.

My Omani husband veiws us as one and same. That is his culture.

I don't think one is better than the other, but I think my identity is of an Omani who is an expat, no matter what country they go to.

I started thinking about this after reading Nadia's post one, YOU KNOW YOU"VE BEEN TOO LONG IN OMAN WHEN http://dhofarigucci.blogspot.com/2010/12/15-signs-you-might-have-been-in-oman.html

And I remembered the comment's on Jet Driver's blog on this post. From JD: What gives you away as being a newbie expat in Oman: http://muscatjetdriver.blogspot.com/2010/02/experiences-you-must-have-before-i-will.html

I don't know why really. It is not so important to me really, to know my identity, for I truly believe that only the shallow know themselves, but I have to assert what I am not, when people claim "you are an Omani girl now", for at least I know what I am not, even if I do not comprehend wholly what it is exactly that I am.

JOKE: What is the difference between an Omani Wife and an expat wife?

My husband and I were joking on this, after a weekend of fighting over nothings.

What is the difference for an Omani man, of being married to an expat wife, as opposed to an Omani wife, from his tribe?

Difference #1

Husband says to the Omani wife, "Come here, habibti, I want to show you something."

Oman wife comes.

Omani Husband says to the Expat wife, "Come here, Honey, I want to show you something."

Expat wife [okay, it's a defensive OPNO] screams, "You can't make me!"

Difference #2

Husband says, during an expedition shopping for household goods in the Souq, "I really think this one is nice."

Omani wife, puts it in the basket, and they buy it.

Husband says, during an expedition shopping for household good in the Souq, "I really think this one is nice, and you said wanted soft and warm and not too expensive."

Expat wife [looks at Husband like he's an idtiot]. "And I also said NOT UGLY. Nothing THAT ugly is going on my bed." [They leave with nothing].

Hehehe.

Tales from the Tarmac, part 2

Expat woman with handheld camera filming a group of young Omani men sitting around batting drums in Ghubra lake park.

"Look dear!" She exclaims to her husband, while OPNO laughs her a** off at the following comment, as she points. "Traditional Omani music."

The Omani guys sing as song where the lyrics are mainly a repeat of "Aulad Tharta".

Yeah, "Son of Fart" a very RARE, and TRADITIONAL Omani tune from days of yore, to be sure. [This sentance drips sarcasm].

TRADITIONAL OMANI MUSIC [about FARTING]

I hope she doesn't upload it to YOUTUBE and title it that.

For more tales of the "fresh from the tarmac" series, see here http://howtolivelikeanomaniprincess.blogspot.com/2010/10/fresh-off-tarmac-part-1.html

Fond Childhood Memories of Christmas in Oman and This Holiday

Yay! Another holiday approaches, and I STILL can't take off the anti-image software I've got on my computer:'( so no glam pics.

Most of you expats from my end of the world will probably be celebrating Christmas. Which, I have fond memories of from my days before I was Muslim in Oman.

Let us reminisce together.

First, there was Mum 'f'ing' off the Christmas tree because the strands of small pearl lights were one-strand only, so when one minscule light burnt out, the whole lot of 'em went off, and she had to UN-decorate the whole bloomin' tree to find the culprit. So I think the tree was decorated and undecorated and re-strung with lights at least four or five times before Christmas day.

Inviting the houseboy to Christmas dinner because Mum thought he was a Christian.... Well.... he was Budhist, and our tales of Santa Clause and Frosty the Snow man scared the crap out of him. Apparently a giant cold hunk of ice jumping around and alive and an old man who watches you while you are sleeping, judging you, is a scary notion.

Go figure! lol.

Also, because alot of our friends in Oman weren't used to sitting at the dining table with forks and knives and spoons, we got to eat Christmas turkey WITH OUR HANDS:D!!!!!! Oh, you bet I loved it, though Grandma would have died of shock.

Mum getting frusterated that she could get an abaya embroidered but not X-mas stockings. Not that we HAD a fireplace.

So we drove off to Nakhl:) best DAY eveRRRRRRRRRRR! in Oman, courtesy the old Toyota pick-up truck.

On to this holiday: as a Muslim I will not be celebrating alas. It's just another day in the year for me. But I will be doing some shopping in Mutrah if my pay is on time, so keep an eye out for me there;)

Personal Reflections on Addictions

I had two previous addictions, both of of which I have happily kicked. This was preIslam ya'll, and I know people say, don't reveal your sins, but that is sins that can make people attack Islam or make one look bad, and these can't anymore. Really, sometimes, I have found, it helps other people to know that one isn't perfect, and you have gone through things they are going through, instead of being this cold, distant, monument of perfection. Which, only an idiot, would have EVER ever ever have maybe for AN INSTANT imagined this of OPNO lol.
a. I used to be a bit of a lush. No one even knew this was a problem for me because I have always been the social butterfly, and no one ever seemed to notice when I was drunk or not because I was the girl who'd always dance and say her mind. Plus my general social environment almost encouraged drinking 24/7. But I admit, I was spending quite alot on expensive liquors, and told myself, that since they were at least classy drinks, I didn't have a problem. If I started drinking crap, then I'd seek help. But since the money never ran out, and people always thoughts I was fun, I didn't have a problem.Due to alcohol being forbidden in Islam, I kind of managed this one cold turkey, with albeit, one minor slip up in the Bengal Lounge where they made champagne icebubes. Hey, if you are going to slip out but only once, you might as well do it royally. I honestly don't miss pork and alchohal at all, since in Oman, they make things that taste like pork porkless (such as pepperoni, jello {who'd of thunk?}, and hawaiian pizza), and the only thing I ever crave is red wine, which, I overcome with Ben&Jerry's and an amazing assortment of fresh fruit juices. My health (and wallet) have never been healthier. The Bengal Lounge was never cheap.
b. I was a bit of a shopoholic. I would lie about how much the things I bought cost. I would hide credit card reciepts. But since I was always relatively well paid this never seemed to effect me at all, unlike Carrie Bradshaw "If I don't stop shopping, I'll end up a bag lady; a Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady..... "-- Carrie from Sex and the City. But it truly was an addiction, as I have come to define an addiction as something one depends on to deal with the bad things in their life, instead of finding a way to get rid of those bad things, or change them to good. In the words of Shopoholic character Rebecca Bloomwood: "When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it's not, and I need to do it again." If you feel that way about ANYTHING, you kind of have an addiction.
Addictions can be used in a positive manner. Ie I turned my shopping addiction into a career for a while, and that way, it didn't interfere with my daily life, but then, when I'd dealt with the underlying issues causing me to depend on it as a stress outlet, I got bored, and one could say, better. I still use observing beautiful things and inpration sites as a destressor. We all use our minute addictions to elp us through the grind, but I no longer depend on this visual stimulation and creative expression to solve whatever caused me to be upset in the first place. Here in the Gulf (Oman tends to fare better in general due to Omanis not being as rich and affluent as some of their neighbors per the general population) I see alot of women addicted to shopping. They shop to control their boredom which come from having no role. We get up, we eat, we take care of the kids, we take care of our husband (ie maritial relations), and we have no goals, no aspirations, no hobbbies. THIS CAN DRIVE ONE TO ADDICTION.

A similiar thing happens to alot of expat wives in Oman, and some of them pick up shopping and others alcohol, as the drugs of choice to deal with boredom, lack of personal direction. Just wanted to say to any woman out there going through this, find something that interests you that you can build on, and deal with whatever it is that makes you unhappy, and you're life will get richer.

A thing for hats... & about the Shebab ; ;, nudge, nudge

My Omani husband (aka MOP) has a thing for hats (and obviously white English-speaking women right?). I think it stems from his crush on Kate Winslet's character "Rose" from the Titanic movie. BTW, he had no idea there was a nude scene in that movie, or a sex scene, because it was of course cut out in Oman. This the closest to nude that she got: in the Oman friendly edition. Scandalous, I KNOW. LOL, believe me, the site of a wellformed ankle can hit an Omani guy off, so don't laugh about it, it is true. It is almost like wearing your underwear to the 7/11 in the USA, lol, I am serrious, a nice ankle.So Winslet's character was very idealized to MOP. He also has NO idea that I am writing about him or things he has confided to me, so if you know both of us, um, yeah, please be kind, and rewind, and forget I ever brought up the Kate Winslet thing. Anyways, I am writing this post because yesturday I saw two beautiful young expat ladies (like myself---only I was fully veiled, including my face) differentiated only in how they were dressed. One was in a skirt exposing her upper thighs but long in the back, and her midriff, and the other was wearing loose fitting linen trousers and a long T. They were both lovely, but one was dressed too sexual for an Omani grocery store. I was actually offended but the midriff exposed one, but hey, I was in a face veil, and didn't want her to think women who wear face veils are intolerant so I didn't say anything, but to be honest, there was only one man and one woman who wasn't bothered by her dressed like that. Everyone else, even the expats were going like, WTH? Al Fair isn't Rockbottom or the poolside at the Intercon. I don't creep people out in my face veil in NA, I pin pretty pins to it and flowers and wear colours to be less offensive to North Americans in my Muslim garb. And as a non Muslim expat I never showed my midrif AND inner upper thighs at the same time. It is just kind of rude. It isn't bad, but it is inconsiderate. What is pipctured below is NOT appropriate for GROCERY SHOPPING in Muscat!!!! Ahhhh, please don't give expats like me a bad rep okay? And you will, I know Omanis. And in case you don't believe good 'ole extremist me, from my very arab husband the following:

"Most Omani guys who don't understand your culture will veiw you as a peice of meat."

On from that rant a friend of mine were discussing the Shebab (Muslim Arab guys) and how sometimes the players are better than the seemingly innocent ones, because at least the players had enough game to have neverslept with a prositute. I am serrious. Guys, if this is not you, please don't be offended, but, it is the majority of guys that were my friends. They either were cool enough to have dated, or they, ugh, well, let's not go there but they er, went to Dubai & Thailand. Anyways, we came to the conclusion that all the truly innocent ones marry very young IN ORDER to avoid being in the two above categories. Which isn't the real reason a woman wants to be married to a guy but...

This post is depressing.

I love my husband, whatever category he fell into before, alhamdulilah, he is my man now;)

Introducing the Drews, and a little Dhofar War history

Mrs. Drew, responsible for planting many of the Sultan's trees around SOAF Salalah.Kerry Drew, Muqaddam, SOAF Salalah. Once of the Essex Regiment.

I have always been fascinated by history, and the story of the Dhofar Insurgancy is of course one, I as a Westerner, am highly unfamiliar with, due to its lack of coverage in my home country, and being, it was a little before my birth. So I am not at fault for my ignorance.

But living here now, I am starting to research it, as I see it affecting politics and WASTA from time to time, lol, and I happened to stumble on this cute little photostream on flickr while doing so: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianharringtonspier/sets/72157600531648435/ & http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianharringtonspier/sets/72157610414161556/ which show Oman from the 70s- the 80s in Muscat/Mutrah and Dhofar regions.

How to Address Middleeastern Royalty & Important Personages

LOL, I I remember one of our former OPNOs [American] asking Princess [Commonewealth somewhere] what fork to use first and how to address the Prime Minister of _______ country. Gone are the day's of a Huston Debutante's flawless courtsies;) [as pictured below]... ...Or the perfect balance and the artful dance of eating soup and stirring tea to perfection, white gloves for lunch and elbow length ones for evening...

But there were some Americans over at one of the OPNO's workplaces, and they kept addressing His Majesty as Your Highness, which made this particular OPNO think, well, in Oman, part of the out-dated world the OPNO girls in-majority once knew, in is still very much relevant. So here is a guide for those whose parents and grandparents did not force them to learn how to address the ruling classes (all OPNO girls rebel at this concept though they respect the responsibilities and traditions) and walk with books on their heads:

The Sultan of Oman is addressed as "Your Majesty". Like the Queen of England who'd be "Her Majesty the Queen" [don't say "of England" since she's coming and you might meet her-I have;) & her late mother too). To introduce him, you would say, "His Majesty Sultan Qaboos Bin Said" as he carries a long list of ranks not limited to his role as Sultan of Oman, for example he is the following: Feild Marshal, Royal Army of Oman; Admiral of the Fleet, Royal Navy of Oman; Marshal of the Royal Air Force of Oman; Supreme Commander, Royal Oman Police; & General (honorary), British Army ect... After any formal introduction it is appropriate to use "Sir" to His Majesty, likewise "ma'am" to the Queen of England. But his formal title should be used at the end of all conversation. Not very hard to do.

It is considered impolite to engage in conversation before the head of heirarchical royalty speaks to you, or to offer to shake their hand before they offer to shake yours. If you are wearing gloves as part of a uniform of evening dress, you do not remove them to shake hands. For men, if you are going to bow (not necessary these days for most Royals, and not exactly Islamic to do), for men, you bow from the neck (not the waist). For ladies, culturally there are many variations of the curtsey, and the length and height (how far to the floor) denote the status of the personage before you traditionally. None of this really matters anymore unless you are a Deb so the most well known curtsey is to place the left foot behind your right one, bending your knees slightly. Bowing is usually not required unless you are a citizen of country ruled by the member of aristocracy you are paying homage and respect to. A prince is addressed as "Your Royal Highness" followed by his [position in government if he has one] followed by his name. Same for a Princess. Any child or male line grandchild of a monarch is considered a prince or princess. The spouse of a prince is also a Princess, although she is not always "Princess" addressed as that, followed by HerFirstName. The spouse of a princess is not always a prince.

A Crown Prince (for which one is not determined in Oman) is "Your Royal Highness".

There are exceptions, but in general you can distinguish between those who are royal and those who are not in Middleeastern Royalty simply by the letter preceding their name: H.H.: His Highness - i.e. he is royal. H.E.: His excellency - i.e. he is or has been a senior government appointee (like an ambassador or government minister, though often they can also be royals).

Senior Government Minister: "Your Excellency".

An Ambassador: "Your Excellancy"

All other Embassy staff of import: "Counsellor" followed by their name and office for formal written address [just not in the post address!], but usually Ms., Mrs., Mr... in person. Oman seems more formal so I have heard people say "Counsellor" and it makes me giggle.

Sheikh (if not a government minister, ambassador, or prince): "Sheikh" followed by name. Is H.H or H.E than that would precede "Sheikh" than name.Sheikha (if not a government minister, ambassador, or princesss): "Sheikha" followed by name. If her husband is H.H than she would be addressed as "Her Highness, Sheikha..." followed by name. If her husband is H.E it doesn't carry to her.

Royal titles include King, Queen, Sheik (or Shaik), Sultan, Crown Prince, & Kahn (in certain circumstances .

Also, a Morrocan royal term of import of respect for a lady of respected family is "Lalla" which follows their titles. For example, "Princess Lalla ...[name: Salma] of Morroco".

For any visiting Brits of import (go commonewealth) Dukes and Duchesses are called "Your Grace" or "Duke/Duchess." Introduce the duke to someone else as "His Grace the Duke of Norfolk," the duchess as "Her Grace the Duchess of Norfolk". Baronets and knights, if male, are addressed as "Sir Ralph" (if his name is Ralph Sweet) and his wife is "Lady Sweet". You would introduce him using his full name, "Sir Ralph Sweet," and his wife as "Lady Sweet." Dames (the equivalent of knighthood for women - there is no female equivalent of baronetcy) are "Dame Gertrude" in conversation, and you would introduce her as "Dame Gertrude Mellon."

Other forms of nobility (including Marquess/Marchioness, Earl/Countess, Viscount/Viscountess, Baron/Baroness) are generally addressed as, "Lord or Lady Towlebridge" (for the Earl of Towlebridge), and introduced with their appropriate title, such as "Viscount Sweet" or "Baroness Rivendell" .

For former OPNOnoa, the Prime Minister is "Your Excellecy" in most cases, while a former Prime Minister is "Mr. [name] , the former President of [country]." Some countries, Prime Ministers are awared additional status, ie the UK, so the UK president, for life, will be "Your Honorable". And there is a special exception for the King of Saudi Arabia who has (self-bestowed) religious title instead of the usual Kingly greeting. He is called "The Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques".

Regardless of your stance on this caste system, respect and proper use of terms is good for business and social dealings. One need not bow ect, should they not be a member of the country or a country under allegiance to country ect...

Anyways, I am bored now of this post sooooo see ya'll for the day;)

Happy weekend.

And if I did a typo let me know. Don't want to be resposible for any offenses, I am a bit rusty afterall, since any Prince that I know I treat him the same way I treat the Omani guys at the coffee shop so that H2B won't be stupid;p

He he he :D

H2B: "He talked to you?"

OPNO: "Yes. He asked my opinion, and I was supposed to say nothing?"

H2B: "You probably talked to much, and laughed." [He was pouting and looked so sad].

OPNO: "I promise, I swear to GOD I was not flirting with [you will never know who fits into this post]! Wallahi, you are an idiot. Even if his Majesty Himself asked to marry me, I'd say no."

H2B: [tone suspicious] "His Majesty is in his 70s."

OPNO: "Yeah, but he still looks super cute!" [winks because she is being a brat and lols and H2B for being such an Arab male.]

Fresh off the tarmac: part 1

FRESH OFF THE TARMAC

THE COURTHOUSE WITH GOLDEN DOORS

You know that building near Al Wizarat you pass driving down Sultan Qaboos highway? The one with the gargantuam gilded gold doors?

The first time I saw it my mother told me it was the courthouse, where people go if they steal or commit crimes.

My eyes grew wide as we drove by as a child at those massive golden doors and the thought of a Shariah-court inside, presided over by Sultan one could beg mercy from before one's head or hand was chopped or the like.

My mother liked to read the Sassoon "Princess" novels. I read "Arabian Nights". Damn Orientalists we were. Dear. God.

Yeah. That building IS A BANK!

Ha ha ha lol.

:XD

Yeaaaaaaah, things like that happen when you are an expat fresh off the tarmac. People can tell you things about Oman and you'll believe them and you won't even know it is something completely made up as a joke for expats.

CAMELS

For example, in Abu Dhabi, dressed in abaya as I always am, Muslim convert here, a tourist made a mistake of thinking from the fact that I was talking to a camel in Arabic, that I was its beduoin owner or something. They decided to ask me how long camels live. Amused by their mistake I said 25 years.

What do I know about camels?!

Now that poor lady and her husband are wandering around telling other tourists and expats and their relatives back home that camels live to be roughly 25 years of age.

Which, I have never bothered to look it up, may or may not be true.

PDO EXPATS AND THEIR PREDILECTION FOR WHITE PRADOs

Looking for a friend's home in Ras Al Hamra was supposed to be easy. Their car was parked out front, and we knew its make and colour.

It was a white PRADO.

We'd gone camping with our friend. This was supposed to be easy.

In front of their home were parked four identical white Prado 4x4s, which made determining left or right nigh impossible.

Damn PDO expats and their prediliction for white Prado 4x4s.

Our white toyota pick up stood out by far.

THE LEMON TREE

When asked WHY we moved from our old place in Al Khuwair (I miss the pool) to the PDO camp, I tell people it is because of a lemon tree.

Yes, because of lemons.

My mother has a habit of fighting with ALL of her neighbors, but she forgot that if you start a feud with a tribe in Oman, the feud can outlive you.

Apparently there was some fight over who the lemons on a particular lemon tree belonged to since the tree had never produced any lemons until the water paid for by our waterbill watered it.

You can see where this is going.

Dispute of ownership of said lemons ensued.

Lemons are pretty cheap here in Oman. They sell them in Al Fair, right near are old house.

It was my mother versus a tribe of angry Al ________ and they won by overwhelming numbers, and we were chased out.

Yes, the poor ROP were involved, tsk tsk.

ON PHONING THE EMERGANCY NUMBER

"Phone the ROP! They're fighting!"

I held out the mobile. "I already am. 9999. It's busy."

Oman, serriously, how can your emergancy number be busy? What if somebody was being murdered?

Oh, there you go, just add another 9 to bump somebody else. It worked.

"Hi, this is a call from ___________ Al Khuwair, I need a patrol car here and some officers. There is an assault going on."

ROP man on the other side: "You don't speak Arabic."

Our end: "No."

Click. On hold.

Eye roll.

THE CASINO

Driving out there was horrifyingly bright flashing building large with Neon lights.

Confused, a young OPNO asks their Omani driver: "Isn't this an Islamic country?"

She knows that gambling isn't allowed in the Muslim holy book.

This knowledge is confirmed to her.

Still gawking at the local Lulus Hypermarket she asks, "Then why do you have giant Casino?"

WARDROBE GUIDE FOR EXPATS in Oman: request from NM

A guide for expats. When is showing your midriff 100% okay in Muscat, what skirt is too short, a basic guide to occasional abayas, and can a European man where a dishdasha and not offend anyone???

These questions and more answered by OPNO.

I recently got a request from NMx from this blog http://muscatmitchells.blogspot.com/ to detail what is okay or not to do in Oman regarding clothing. I will talk mainly about women's clothing, but answer a few questions from the husband's of my friends as well. NM's comment:

Hi OP! I've been reading your blog for a few months now and LOVE it! [Thank you NM] I'm a British expat, I've been here just over 18months. I am very cautious and aware of what I am wearing so as not to offend AND to try and show Muslimahs here that not all Brits/expats show off their bodies! ;-) Thank you for the advice too...can arms really be shown at night? I too love the style of your role models, they are truly elegant.I really would like to own an abaya but I have a feeling I will be giggle at! I'm not even sure I could carry it off! If you have any style tips/suggestions for a first abaya purchase, it would be gratefully received!Take care, NM x

She left the comment on this post: http://howtolivelikeanomaniprincess.blogspot.com/2010/06/styles-for-expats-and-before-i-was.html where the following advice and request was given:

Old post: Please, to all non-Muslim expat women in Oman, take a note from Queen Rania in respect to Oman and our beautiful culture of modesty here. In the very least wear skirts no shorter than below the knee, no cleavage, and having a sleeve, be it only cap-sleeve, is best for day. Avoid ultra-tight stretchy fabrics that cling to all your curves. Out of respect for the women as well as the men. I honestly don't want to see your breasts or your thong. At night, it is okay to go sleeveless if you avoid huge cleavage and go for long lengths. Save bikinis for expat dominated places (pools with lotsa alcohol ect). Thank you ever so much, and I will respect your country the same by trying my best to wear Islamic clothing that meets the requirements of my religion but doesn't scare your local populace. Shukran jazilan!!!! ['thank you very much' in Arabic].

So here goes a basic guide for expat women (and answer to one particular question from their husbands I always get asked):

What to wear for casual day wear, going out, for say, a grocery run, coffee at Starbucks with friends, or a jaunt at CityCenter.

Three options as follows for casual daywear:

1. A dress and/or a shirt.For day it should be tight in only one place (perferably not your chest or butt). Waist is accepted. The length should fall no shorter than just above the knee (scraping it). You could say the same rule for shorts, but I tried that before, and got whistled at Lulus, so really, I don't recommend it. Skirts seem more universally accepted. Preferably, it should have a sleeve, even one so slight as a cap sleeve. In more conservative places like a village or near a Mosque, up to elbows is more polited. A pashmina works fine for this.

2.) Pants.

You are jeans a t-shirt girl? Where loose pants (boot cut or trouser) with a longish t-shirt. The shirt should either be tight on your waist or tight on your chest (no cleavage) no both, a finish off with a slight sleeve. If the top is completelty loose AND NOT SEE THROUGH, you can get away without a sleeve, and the pants are loose and not form-fitted to the butt, like in this outfit worn by Drew Barrymore (just remove the suit jacket)

3.) Leggings/tights and skinny jeans.If going for a tighter pant, i.e leggings, the top must be longer, ideally to the knees, and looser (with arm coverage).***There is an additional option, which is to wear a black abaya over one's clothing, which I will detail later in this post.****

On to formal daywear (not a women only event like most Omani weddings):

1.) Long dress (or skirt and shirt), or traditional jalabiyia [caftan] ect...2.) Skirt/Suit combo:3.) The most daring you should get when flaunting skin: a modest skirt with more fitted top to it, without a sleeve. Try to keep the way it is worn more playful and elegant than sexy. A really nice sundress in a lux fabric is perfect.
On to evening wear, casually out in Muscat, to restaurants where alochal is not served, strolling where Omani couples walk, is very similair to casual daywear, but option number three of formal daywear can be worn in more casual fabrics with a shoulder and chest cover up like a pashmina. No one will bat an eyelash in Muscat (maybe out in the vilages you will get, but not Muscat).

On to evenings. In the evening you can bear your shoulders if you keep the shape fluid not stuck to you and don't go too short. If you bare on part of your body, keep the rest covered. Rule of elegant women the world over, not just in Muslim majority countries.For formal evening, if you DO keep the length long and fluid, you can show your shoulders and a hint of the breastline. No one will kill you for it, as pictured below:Now, on to the exceptions:

a. It is totally okay to spill out your breasts, wear thigh high lengths, and show skin skin skin, in nightclubs in Oman, though I still say, mystery is more exciting but it's up to you. It is okay to dress like a stripper or hooker in places like Rockbottom ect, but if you are Iranian or Philipino, please don't, because some might actually TAKE you for being a Lady-of-the-Night, so please, have your fun but be careful!

And tight tight is okay for bars and expat dominated places where alcohal is served. No one is going to care since Muslims aren't supposed to be in these places by their religion (not cuz of ya'll expats, but because of the drinking).

***This doesn't mean Carefour and Lullu though***

please: to the girl at Al Fair on the weekend with her midriff and muffin top hanging out while all the Omani guys in the room had their chins up to the ceiling . I heard the most amusing husband/wife conversation where he said he didn't care about women's bodies and she laughed, since I could tell she wasn't threatened by the expat teen in the slightest but the sight of the girl has scared the heck out of the husband that his wife would kill him for having glanced in the girl's direction. [Horrible sentance I am too lazy to correct, forgive]. Funny moment though, while weighing my vegetables.

b. Also cleavage, tightness, and exposed mid riffs are 100% okay at Omani women's weddings, where gown like the very first one in this post, are the rule of thumb. More glitter, more amp, is the way to go, lol for most Omani girls. Since no men will be attending, modesty rules don't apply. I have seen Grandmothers dressed like Vegas showgirls in Al Qurum weddings, lol.

c. Bathing suits should be more modest varietiess with lots of cleavage and butt coverage and stay pool-side or at the beaches. For string bikinis, go to pools at hotels that serve alcohal, to be more respectful, and expat majority haunts, like certain clubs and facilities. This one is kinf of obvious, and alhamdulilah, I don't see many doing this one wrong (exception being one woman in Ras Al Hamra who I am related too, lol).

On to the question of wearing local (Omani clothing) for men and women.

Despite what one might think, Omani traditional dress for women IS NOT the abaya. It is a few different versions of very colourful regional wear, that is usually (the casual version) only worn in villages or in the desert, or (the formal version) reserved for weddings. If you are attending an Omani weddings and want to wear Omani formal wear and choose the correct region, it will amuse your host immensly, and will not be seen as insulting whatsoever. If you are to where the day wear out and about in Muscat, or the formal wear at night, and you are NOT married to an Omani man, it will probably confuse people and not be seen as normal and it will get you SOME attention depending, but it won't be insulting. Just weird.

Since I do this, lol, I know. But wearing the casual wear out of Muscat in places like sharqiyah, it doesn't make people very confused at all, since sometimes an expat face in general is an oddity so what you are wearing, so long as it is modest, doesn't really matter.

THE ABAYA

Abaya is worn in Muscat over clothing. You could say it is the chic city uniform of Omani girls. Yes, we have clothes under there. It allows women to wear whatever they like and not have to worry about covering enough. It is a coat, thrown over one's clothing. It has also been made into a fashion statement, the fabric, and the cut, as well as varying degreees of embellishment, determining its purpose. There are abayas as casual wear,simple (but often embellished designs) thrown over jeans and a tshirt, and abayas for slightly more formal occasions (beautiful cut to flow like a dress or handworked): as well as ones for weddings meant only to be seen by women [and husband's to be]: as they are sheer chiffon creations covered in crystals and handwork.If you want advice for buying an an abaya, finding a semi durable (breathable not not thin) iron-free black fabric and nice sleeve cut is the way to go, design aside, for day. Something with a more flowing cut or eye-catching design is more formal. Sheer chiffon ones are to be worn over evening dresses. So

first, know for what purpose is your abaya. If it for a wedding, the last pics, and the middle ones are fine. For a Mosque visit, or to throw over your jeans for a grocery run, the first set of abaya pics above.

Now, on to the hair. Wearing ana abaya isn't insulting to anyone, because dressing modestly is part of showing respect for the Omani peoples' general beliefs. But you will wonder about the headscarf and the face veil. These are worn (the scarf when it covers ALL the hair, and the face veil all the face but eyes) for religious purposes, so if you are not a Muslim or visiting a Mosque, wearing it will lead people to expect from you Muslim behaviors and values so unless you understand these, do not confuse people. Wear abaya to the store, or for an evening out in a fancy version, but do not wear to a nighclub or to a bar. If you want to cover your hair but as part of the style, it is fine, but be aware, you may be taken as being Muslim, and if you don't act like an Omani woman, you may get more creepy men who assume you have a loose character. Also, if worn without a headscarf and you look like you are an Arab, they may assume you are Morrocan or Pakistani depending on the abaya style, and you may get treated with less respect. This happens to me whenever I wear Morrcan style (hooded) abayas . Most Omanis are good and wonderful but some men are idiots who can equate Morroco with easy or Pakistani with NO rights. True, and alhamduliah, changing.

People may also ask you if you have an Omani husband. Just say you love Khaleeji (Gulf) style abayas, and people will smile.

Onto the men.

For those of you who had a Lawrence of Arabia fanatsy, and want to dress like a local, know what is worn in Oman and when to wear it.

Q. Will it be disrespectful for me to wear an Omani man's clothing?

A. Not at all. But you can wear it horribly wrong and be laughed at, or wear it in a way that is not allowed in a Government Ministry position or building.

Q. How is it worn horribly wrong?

A. Well, there are ways of wearing dishdasha for different occasions. There are also different kinds of dress for Arab men in the Gulf, and the Omani one is a robe witha short tassel at the neck. If you wear an Emriati kandoura (with a long tassel to the waist almost), or a tassel-less version, you aren't dressing Omani at all, and if you don't know this, people will think it is funny.

Also, Omani dishdahsa is worn with an undergarment under it (not pants) called an wizhar that is wrapped around the waist like a towel. You have to master this to wear dishdasha correctly, or buy a kids wihzar with an elastic and cheat, or your dishdasha can go see-through. Something VERY FUNNY.

Q. What are the occasions for wearing it formally, casually, for work, ect?

A. For formal wear, usually the Eid holiday, or a wedding, or a high import function, a bisht (sheer embroidered flowing robe of a few different shades) is worn over top of the dishdasha, with a formally wrapped mussayr (the turban like wrap not the pill box hat called kuma) with assa (stick) and khanjar (sillver dagger belted at waist). This won't be required of any Western man from his work, or socially, but he can do it for a wedding out of respect. For more formal workplaces or when visiting a government Ministry or Minister, a white dishdasha (maybe with embroidery and a coloured tassel) is worn, and musayr. You cannot where the kuma embroidered hat, you must wear a mussayr. For casual situations or less formal workplaces, a coloured dishdasha may be worn, with or without a kuma. Feel free to wear a dishdasha out, or at work, but make sure you are doing it without negging dress code regulations or making your friends laugh too much. They may tease you at first but it won't offend anyone or be too strange.

Oman Style: Definately Resort, or Ralph Lauren, for me personally

Oman is a relaxed place. So I love resort collections. I love Chanel 2011 this year.

The above casual look is sooooo me, if I wore jeans. I have that pair of jeans. I should wear them maybe?
I would even wear the little suit below and pretend I had the glamour of a 1960s Claudia Cardinale to pull it off. I know I don't but...:For work, or formal charity events: Carolina Herrera blouses, and light linen baggy safari trousers from Centerpoint:

Love Love love the pink ruffled blouse by Carolina Herrera resort 2011, and I'd pair the embellished strapless dress with a Ralph Lauren blazer, and straw bucket hat.
If I had money though, I'd totally invest in Marchessa Resort 2011 which recalls YSL's safari collection:
And then of course, the more casual me, the one KH misses from our Ras al Hamra days when I liked to pretend I was discovering a lost civilization when we drove to Nakhl, I was Indiana Jones, and I'd mix my Club Monaco tees with Omani and Indian clothes (or I'd borrow my father's):