DAILY DIARY: the big news

THE BIG NEWS

OPNO (one of them anyway) is getting married. Like, ASAP. So there will be dancing in the village as pictured below, sheilds and swords. [Our kind of wedding, right B?].

There was dress hunting last night. OPNO's fiance (which doesn't exist in Islam) likes traditional dress as much as OPNO. He will wear dishdasha in Europe and if OPNO wants to cover her face and wear out-of-mode abayaat ras he'll defend her and think she's glam even if she dresses like a grandmother.

R: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! You can't wear traditional dress, we only wear those for the henna!"

OPNO: "I like traditional dress."

R: "But your husband will want you to wear a white dress like everybody else. More sexy."

[Potential groom shakes his head at this to OPNO over R's shoulder because he PREFERS Omani dress over Western white dresses]

OPNO: [gives her a you-know-nothing eye roll] "Serriously, R, I've hung out with more Omani guys than you. Men DON'T CARE about the wedding dress, so long as you are pretty. They DON'T CARE what your cousin spent or how many crystals she had on it. They just want you to look pretty and not spend all their money, and love them for who they are. As long as I look good naked, and love him, and am a good sweet girl, no guy will care if my dress was plain or boring or not as nice as somebody else's. Really."

R [gives OPNO a you-know-nothing-eyeroll]: "If you don't give him the wedding that he wants maybe he will one day marry somebody else."

[OPNO laughs because R knows nothing about Omani men at all.]

OPNO: "R, men love you more if you are willing to run away with them at the shortest possible notice, they don't care about the dress. But I DO, so let's keep looking."

We were going for an oyster pearl white traditional Omani dress but on this short of notice it was impossible, and so we went for the traditional Omani colour, green. But OPNO may rent a dress, so if there is anyone in Oman with a white Omani traditional dress in a very petite size who want to rent me their dress for 30 rials by this weekend, leave your gsm in my comments box and I won't post it.

OPNO found her honeymoon dress, and her honeymoon will be camping in Oman. I know, all ya'll Omani girls are horrified, because I was offered my pick of the middleeast and Europe and chose to see more of Oman. Husband-to-be didn't like the sound of OPNO & Yemen.

Lastnight we went to buy the maher of silver and gold. Which I actually didn't want but apparently have to take. So I bought rings and bracelets and a necklace and anklets and am going to wear a fake headpiece and pretend like it is real and spend that money on something more practical. I asked for a Qu'ran and a rose. They forced me to take more. And I just had to send a text message:

H2B: "I found a gold ring. I want to buy it for you as a gift."

OPNO: "I hate gold, Dear. I will not wear it."

H2B: "I can't give you silver. People will think that I am poor!"

OPNO: "With your family name, I HIGHLY doubt that."

H2B: "They will think that I don't love you."

OPNO: "I don't care what anyone thinks, you aren't forcing me to wear something I don't like."

H2B: "Okay, then I will look for silver and make the jeweler work in some jewels. I love you."

Husband-to-be will put it all [the whole gaudy blingy heavy mess] in a traditional Omani box and give it to me, while women carry insense burners balanced on their heads. I will be veiled, face covered with a warqiyah covered in green and pink crystals on the night of my henna night. [I wanted a small, compact, rushed ceremony so henna night became Maher night as well].

R will paint my hands with delicate henna designs and Husband-to-be will strap on a three hundred year olf khanjar and carry an assa (which looks silly to me, I am into the khanjar thing but the assa makes me giggle). I have forced him to wear an ancient old mussayr instead of a fancy new one (for which Riham will kill me but I don't like musayrs that look like turbans from India) and apparently, after the melka they will make me ride a donkey, yes a donkey, to the groom's family house. I wanted a horse but apparently, that's only for the Shiekh (like I care) but I mean, some pretty great women have ridden donkeys, like Mary/Mariam from the Quran and Bible, so I mean, I could be humble and take it as a laugh.